🔊 Open Tabs #002 — Bullseyes, Bangers, and a Sport I Don’t Understand

Alright issue #2. The consistency is just astonishing, amiright?
Let’s kick things off with one of the greatest sketch moments I’ve ever seen — then we’ll dance at Coachella, watch a scorpion kick goal, and figure out cricket. You know... a normal Wednesday.

🎭 Screen Time

🔹 Smosh Is in Their Meatloaf Era

This might be one of the funniest sketch moments I’ve ever seen — dude nails a bullseye while screaming about meatloaf like his life depends on it… while cosplaying as Fred Durst. The timing is too perfect.

I still don’t know how it’s real.
Part of me thought it had to be staged — but nah.
It’s as real as his love for meatloaf

🎥 Watch it here

🔹 Make Some Noise — Improv Olympics With No Safety Net

This game show forces comedians to improv on the spot based on increasingly ridiculous prompts.
This one starts with a few easy prompts around Batman and devolves quickly. Pete Holmes absolutely nails Ray Romano as Batman.

🎥 Batman with a twist

🔹 Very Important People — Character Roulette

In VIP, comedians get a full costume makeover without knowing who they are — then they have to improvise the character live.

This time it’s Bobby Moynihan as “Frozen Man”, who missed a few... key moments in history.
It’s unhinged in the best way.

🎥 Frozen Man enters the timeline

🌀 Scroll Lore

DJ Mau P Got Called Out for Not Dancing… So He Made It a Track and Went Off at Coachella

A few months back, QueenSimmmm posted a TikTok asking:

So what does he do?

He samples that TikTok clip, makes it the hook of a new track — and the post goes viral. But that was last March.

Fast forward to this past week: Coachella.
They put a dance cam on Mau P mid-set… and my guy starts boogeying down. Outsiders were like “huh?” but everyone deep in the EDM corner of TikTok were loving it. He nailed the callback — and honestly, the kid’s got some movesss. And his set was next level.

It’s petty. It’s self-aware. It’s viral genius.
And yeah... the track kinda hits too.

🔗 Links for the full arc:

🎥 TikTok that called him out
🎶 YouTube Shorts — “Why Are You Not Dancing” Remix
And then Mau P himself dancing at Coachella below:

@maup

COACHELLA WE HAD THAT THANG MOVING!!!!!

⚽️ Vibe Shift: Sports Edition

When Sports Get Cinematic

This week’s feed gave us a beautiful little run of sports moments that felt like they were written by a screenwriter on a heater:

🕶️ Chi-Chi Rodriguez and his caddie at the 1975 Masters — lookin’ TUFF.
The 70s distilled into one photo.
The shades. The stance. The energy.
Chi-Chi might be the only person ever to make a fedora look cool.

🗿 A scorpion kick goal from the A-League down undah.
Easily one of the toughest types of goals to pull off — and this dude hits it like it’s routine.
In a split second, he has to decide: head it? Boot it?
Nah. Scorpion kick. Gotta commit!
And he sticks the landing like it’s nothing.

@aleagues

You just know we had to post this again 🦂😱 Ben Garuccio and THAT scorpion kick. Chills every time. Western Sydney Wanderers and Western Un... See more

🏏 And this cricket catch… look, I don’t even understand the rules of cricket yet. But I watched five minutes this morning out of curiosity and THIS is what I saw:
A full sprint, barehanded catch, handled with the softest touch like he was catching a falling wine glass.
I know baseball, and I know this is insane.

🎥 Watch it here

This is now the third time in a few weeks I’ve caught myself watching cricket.
I still have zero clue what the rules are — but I’m digging it.

It’s like watching craps in Vegas. I may have no idea what all the numbers mean and I know it’s probably simple once someone explains it. But honestly? I don’t need to know — because it’s just fun to watch.

Which brings me to today’s Aggressive Call...

🔮 Aggressive Call of the Day

Cricket Is Gonna Catch On in the U.S.

Here’s the thing: I think cricket is going to sneak into American culture in the next couple years — especially in places like Texas.

Why you ask?

• The Indian community is growing fast in cities like Dallas and Austin.

• I’ve started seeing cricket on TV in poker card rooms, which is a weirdly niche but very telling signal.

• And honestly? The vibe is electric. It’s like baseball — except not boring. Pew pew, shots fired!

Still have no clue how scoring works.
And the fact that the goalies or whatever they are called wear so much padding is pretty funny in itself.

I even looked into it to back up my hunch — and sure enough, cricket is actually growing in the U.S.
Did you know Major League Cricket is a thing? Yeah, me neither.
Started in 2023 and growing well so far. Six teams throughout the U.S.
Maybe I’ll catch a match some time!

• Youth cricket leagues are blowing up in places like Seattle and Portland

• Texas is building cricket-specific stadiums

So yeah... it’s not just me.

📈 Calling it now: Cricket becomes the fringe sport that sneaks into the American mainstream — and I’m here for it.

🧠 One Good Tab

The EDM Shaman Moment That Made This All Worth It

On Monday I sent the first edition of Open Tabs to a friend. He said he’d check it out later — but also, he had a song stuck in his head. Couldn't place it. Voice noted me him humming it.

I was stumped.

Then he sent a better version, and boom — I knew it instantly:
Notion – “The Days” (Remix).

Why is that significant? A few reasons:

• I dubbed this the song of 2024.
  Came out late last year, but holy hell — what a track. It bled into 2025, I’ve heard Uber drivers bumping it, it hits that nostalgia sweet spot, and now even my non-electronic music friends are texting me like “yo this song is actually amazing.”

• Guess who I first heard play it live?
  DJ Zulan. If you know, you know.
  (And if you don’t… go read Issue #001.)

• This isn’t the first time I’ve been summoned as an EDM shaman.
  It’s nice being that guy they can hit up stumbling drunkenly out of the club at 3am wondering what the heck that song was.
  Give me 10 seconds of a voice note with you embarrassingly humming it — I got you.

• And honestly? This moment validates everything about starting this newsletter.
  I’m not here to tell you stuff you already knew. I’m here to spot the wave before it hits.
  And the fact that that DJ dropped it first? That’s just extra fuel for the Aggressive Call fire.

🎶 Listen to Notion – “The Days” (Remix)

And yes — it’s a banger. 😤

That’s it for this one — see you Friday with more scroll fuel.
Until then, keep the good tabs open.
—Adam “Roothlus” Levy